Daniel Zopoula

The Digital Musings of a Bushman, Speaker, Author & Trusted Advisor.

Helpful conflict management attitude Tip-2

Helpful conflict management

  • “Conflict is not bad – badly managed conflict is bad – but worst of all is to deny space for conflict to surface.”

Find ways to discover and safely discuss the “undiscussable”.

Self management Practices

  • Desiring to be at peace with people is a good thing
  • Use conflict as an opportunity to serve others
  • Encourage good practice by personal example
  • Deal only with issues that are too important to overlook
  • Overlook minor offences
  • Guard your attitude from negative thinking

It might be too costly to not settle conflict

  • Consider the cost of continuing conflict verses settling it
    • Emotional, relational, financial
  • Am I guilty of reckless words, gossip or slander?
  • Have I kept my word and fulfilled all of my responsibilities?
  • Have I abused my authority?
  • Have I respected those in authority over me?

Do unto others as you would have it done unto you!

  • Have I treated others as I would want to be treated?
  • Are my motives worthwhile?
  • Am I committed to a healthful relationship?
  • I will listen responsibly by waiting patiently while others speak
    • Clarify through appropriate questions
    • Reflect their feelings and concerns with paraphrased responses
    • Agree with them wherever possible
    • There is great value in the discipline of “seeking to understand before seeking to be understood”
    • It is helpful to confirm rather than presume that you understand
    • It is not enough to just “hear” people – people want to know that they have been heard
    • Effective listening creates an opportunity to build a foundation of trust
  • I will listen responsibly by waiting patiently while others speak…
  • Choose a time and place that will be conducive to a productive conversation
  • Believe the best about others until I have the facts to prove otherwise
  • Talk in person whenever possible
  • Plan my words in advance and try to anticipate how others will respond to me.
  • Use “I” statements when appropriate

Clarity is worth a thousand time more

  • State objectives facts rather than personal opinions
  • Ask for feedback
  • Offer solutions and preferences
  • Recognize your limits and stop talking once you have said what is reasonable and appropriate
  • When possible resolve problems one to one
  • When it is not possible to resolve problems one to one seek appropriate 3rd party support (facilitator, arbitrator)
  • Upon resolution:
  • I will no longer dwell on the incident
  • I will not bring the incident up again and use it against the party
  • I will not talk to others about the incident
  • I will not allow the incident to come between a potential relationship (using appropriate judgment)
  • I will affirm my respect and concern for my opponent.
  • I will do what is right no matter what others do to me.

1 Comment

  1. Words of wisdom!

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